Not Hyped about Hearts

Dear Grandma Wisdom,

Here’s that time of year again:  Everything’s red, pink, hearts and roses.  Just can’t help all the tangled emotions I feel at Valentine’s.  So much focus on LOVE gets me remembering …and gets me wondering ...about the future.  What can make this holiday happy for me?

Signed,

Not Hyped about Hearts

Dear One,

You put words to something so many women feel this time of year but don’t always say out loud. Valentine’s Day has a way of turning the volume up on memories and spotlighting what’s been, what wasn’t, and what might never be.  All the noise around love has a way of pressing on tender places and all that attention on romance can reach right back into our thoughts, bring back longings, and then jump straight ahead into our worries about what’s next. Of course this season makes you remember. Of course it makes you wonder. Love—real love—leaves marks on the heart. That’s just human.

Now, when those feelings rise up, one of the kindest things you can do is look for what they’re pointing you toward instead of trying to silence them. Very often, beneath the ache or the wondering, there’s a deeper desire—to be known, to be cherished, to feel secure. And that desire itself is a quiet reminder that you were created for love, not forgotten by it.

It may help to shift your focus, just a little.

Instead of asking, “What’s missing?”

Try asking, “What is already here?”

Love doesn’t only look like couple photos and flowers:  there’s the love you have with your children and you hear it in their laughter, the love you have with your friends that you feel in the comfort of being together, and most of all - there’s the love you have from God in seeing His faithfulness.

Try grounding yourself in the ways God’s love is already showing up in your life. His love is steady, not loud. You can see it in the fact that you’re still standing after seasons that could have broken you. It may not come wrapped in roses, but it’s in the strength that carried you through hard moments. It’s in the doors that closed for your protection, even when you didn’t understand it at the time. You can see it in the way you’ve been sustained, guided, and protected—even when the path wasn’t clear. Looking back, you may see that you were never as alone as you once felt. 

God’s love isn’t seasonal or conditional. It doesn’t depend on your relationship status, your past choices, or how put-together you feel on a particular day. You are already fully known and fully loved—right here, right now. 

"Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you."  Jeremiah 1:5

"And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered." Matthew 10:30

"Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!"  Isaiah 49:15

“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!" 1 John 3:1

And if longing shows up—if part of you still wants partnership or tenderness or romantic love—don’t scold yourself for it. Sometimes it’s simply a reminder of how deeply you were made to love. Wanting connection doesn’t mean you’re incomplete. Just remember this: the love meant for you won’t cost you your peace. You don’t need to rush or settle just to quiet the ache of a holiday.  Your life is already full of meaning and purpose.

So be intentional about what you take in this season. You are allowed to turn down the volume on things that make the day harder—social media, certain movies, certain conversations. Guarding your heart is not avoidance; it’s wisdom. Focus on the love that is present today and let the love of tomorrow worry for itself.  Valentine’s Day activity doesn’t get to define your worth or measure your life.  You are loved—quietly, faithfully, and without conditions—today and always.

warmly,

Grandma Wisdom*

_______________________________

*"Grandma Wisdom" is a fictional character representing collective advice and wisdom.

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