Do They Know I Love Them?

Dear Grandma Wisdom*,

I am worried that my children might not feel loved like the children in 2-parent families.

I am always stretched for time and often can't afford to buy them extra things.

signed,

Worried Do They Know?

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Dear Worried Mama,

I want you to know this right off: love isn’t measured by headcounts or price tags.

I’ve watched a lot of children grow up from my front porch, and I’ll tell you a quiet truth—children don’t feel loved because there are two adults in the house. They feel loved because someone shows up. Because someone listens. Because someone keeps going even when she’s worn thin. That someone is you.

Now, you mentioned time and money, and that’s where I want to offer you a little peace. A wise man named Gary Chapman talks about how children feel love in different ways, and wouldn’t you know it—most of them don’t cost a dime.

Some children feel most loved through words. A simple “I’m proud of you,” or “I thank God for you every day,” can settle a child’s heart like nothing else. Others feel love through time—not fancy outings, just undivided attention. Ten minutes at the kitchen table, no phone, no rushing, can mean more than a whole afternoon spent spending money.

Then there are children who feel loved through touch—a hug before school, a hand on the shoulder, sitting close on the couch. And some feel loved when you serve them: packing their lunch just how they like it, showing up when they’re sick, keeping life steady even when you’re exhausted. Gifts? Well, those matter to some children, but even then, it’s the thought that speaks louder than the cost. Why not pick her a flower or get her small things to show you think of her? A pack of gum may communicate just as much as expensive presents.

See, sweetheart, love speaks many languages, and most of them are spoken quietly, right in the middle of ordinary days.

The Good Book tells us love is patient and kind, not boastful or proud. It doesn’t say love requires a matching set of parents or a cart full of extras. It says love bears all things—and honey, you are bearing plenty.

Your children may notice what you can’t give from time to time, but they will never forget what you do give: safety, faith, consistency, and a mama who keeps choosing them every single day. Many children in two-parent homes never receive that kind of intentional love.

You may feel stretched, but you are not failing. You are teaching your children how love looks when it’s faithful, sacrificial, and rooted in Christ. Trust that the Lord fills in the gaps we cannot—He’s been doing that for generations of mamas just like you.

Keep doing the next right thing. Your children are watching, and what they see is love spoken fluently.

With a full heart and a knowing nod,

Grandma Wisdom

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*"Grandma Wisdom" is a fictional character representing collective advice and wisdom.